A Lesson on Leaving with Erynn Brook

https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/19112315

“Friendly-feminist “and author Erynn Brook posted a tweet about a lesson she learned from her mom. It went viral. She posted about a concept that seems simple, but in reality is very hard for most of us to do, especially women. Leave. This lesson on leaving isn’t just for women. It is for all genders. Practicing and putting up boundaries is a human right. No one should be deprived of it.

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TOPICS DISCUSSED IN THIS EPISODE:

• How Erynn got into professional writing.
• The first post of Erynn’s that went viral.
• Why Erynn is a “friendly-feminist.”
• The story that prompted Erynn’s viral tweet.
• Why is it radical for women to set boundaries?
• You don’t have to tolerate another girl being mean to you.
• The social contracts women feel obligated to partake in.
• We need to give ourselves permission to leave.
• What was becoming instantly visible like for Erynn after her tweets went viral.
• Writers tap into things that are unspoken but felt, and they’re able to give a voice to those things whether it’s an emotion or a movement.
• Writing is a call to leadership.
• Does Erynn consider herself a leader?
• Leaders are coming in unexpected places and look different than they did before.

RESOURCES/ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Erynn Brook

Erynn’s Ghostbusters tweet

How Christine Blasey Ford’s Testimony Changed America

#LESSONUP:

• (5:02-5:10) It was the first time I had experienced something of that scale where the characters weren’t sexualized. And the specific moment for me was the slow-motion sequence where they were just in coveralls and there were no sexy poses or sexy hair flips.
• (7:05-8:20) I’ve been teaching for quite a long time and I teach kids and I’ve started to see a few years ago. I started to see how little people know and there’s sort of an age where that’s acceptable. And in my students, I notice it’s usually around age nine or ten is when they start to feel that it’s no longer acceptable to not know things. That’s around when they stop just blurting out questions and where I have to start digging and really checking in to see if they understand what’s going on and give them permission to ask questions. And I’ve been a feminist for as long as I can remember, but that started to translate into feminism for me when I just started to realize that there are people who just don’t know things or whose first introduction to feminism is through social media or what they hear from their parents which may or may not be accurate. And so “friendly feminist” because I’ve kind of taken on this idea that I call it, I say, “assume ignorance”, basically. So instead of assuming that reactions or questions are coming from a negative place or a trolling place, I assume that it’s a genuine question that people don’t know or that their first reaction may be based on incorrect information.
• (9:53-11:15) My mom was dropping me off, she explained to me that I can leave at any time and I could call her and she’d come pick me up and she wouldn’t be mad and I wouldn’t be in trouble. And if I’m uncomfortable for any reason, and I want to come home, I can. I can do that. And I remember there was some sort of teasing going on. I ended up going to the girl’s mom, the girl who was having the sleep over and, and telling her that I wanted to call my mom, I want to go home. Her mother sort of said, “Oh, don’t do that.” And I said, “no I want to go home. I’m done. I want to go home.” And she said, “Well, we don’t want to bother your mom. It’s late.” And I said, “my mom said she doesn’t mind. I want to go home.” So I went to call her. And I just put my foot down until she let me call my mom. And my mom showed up in her PJ’s with a coat on over her PJ’s.
• (6:55-7:20) It’s radical because we don’t have a social script for it. If something happens often enough that we have sort of go to standard responses for it, then it’s not radical. But whenever you do something that puts someone in a position where they don’t have any of those, like back pocket phrases or reactions to offer, it becomes radical. We don’t have a social script for this. It’s still not and it probably really won’t ever be socially acceptable to just pick up and leave.
• (9:26-10:32) I don’t know if we have all of the scripts in place for the fact that you don’t have to tolerate another girl being mean to you. You don’t have to slot in, you don’t have to assume the position of wingman or wing woman or whatever it is we do, but you can assert yourself and you can be properly treated.
• (26:20-26:45)I tell stories. That’s it. That’s what I do. I tell stories. I think that stories are one of the most fundamental ways that humans connect and learn and grow. So that’s, that’s what I do. I tell stories.

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